May 1, 2011 by Allen Coleman 3 comments

Posted in: Church

To supplement my sermon this past Sunday, I thought I would offer up a clear breakdown of illegitimate reasons to leave a church.

Illegitimate Reasons:

• The church doesn't meet my needs. It is important that you realize that the church DOES NOT exist to meet your needs. This prevailing mindset is by far the most troubling, and perhaps, the most damaging to the American church. Keep in mind, you may have been placed in that church to help echo in the change or ministry that you have noticed need for. Your role in the church is primarily to be equipped for the work of ministry (Ephesians 4:12). Not some...but all those who Jesus.
• The church has hurt me. Hurting people, hurt people. Another role of the church is to sanctify us through relational hardship (Ephesians 4:2). The Scriptures anticipate we will have conflict and need reconciling (Matthew 18:15) and discipline (Matthew 18:17). This is simply unavoidable in any loving family and is no different in an organism made up of imperfect people. When you run from pain, or church discipline, you derail the very process God uses to grow us and others that desperately need it. 
• The doctrine is challenging me. Keep in mind, this is much different than the issue of false doctrine. Closed-handed issues such as substitutionary atonement, a literal resurrection, the Triune and divine nature of Christ, among others, must be defended and treated as non-negotiables. But when the hard doctrines of the bible are challenging the way we think and live, it can be hard to endure sometimes. In our present day culture, the remedies are simple. There are "churches" everywhere willing to cater to whatever you want to believe so you never feel challenged (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Rather, we are to come ready with a teachable spirit, open to having our beliefs and lives challenged no matter how long we've been a Christian (2 Timothy 2:7).
• The church doesn't fit my preferences. I've got bad news for you. You know a church is healthy when people are regularly conceding their preferences for the sake of others (Philippians 2:3-4). In fact, the only preferences the church should be trying to meet are for those that don't follow Jesus (1 Corinthians 9:20,21,22,23). If you love Jesus and consider yourself a Christian, you've missed the mark entirely for leaving a church under this premise.

Leaving a church should not be considered lightly and the decision should be made carefully. Prayer, wise-counsel, and discernment are required to make this decision faithfully. Further, no one should ever leave a church without having sat-down with church-leadership in an effort to stay, if at all possible. Sadly, most people wait until the problem has reached critical mass before anyone knows there is a problem. By that time, little can be done or said to reconcile the process. Instead, discussions should be had at the first sight of any problem. That being said, I will conclude with some legitimate reasons for leaving a church.

Legitimate Reasons:

• False doctrine or heresy. We are to contend for the faith (Jude 3) and the sufficiency of scriptures (2 Timothy 3:16). When the Gospel is threatened, and leaders refuse to be corrected, it's time to bounce.
• Abusive leadership. When shepherds become wolves and stop caring for the greater good of the flock, immediate exit is called for. Sometimes we see it for financial gain, other times for positional gain. Regardless, this happen anytime church leaders are looking to their own self-interests rather than the good of the collective church.
• Difference in ministry philosophy. We see this in the New Testament with Paul and Barnabas over what to do with John Mark. When varying ministry philosophies preclude cooperation, it's time to pray for one another and move on with a spirit of blessing. Differing ministry philosphies include community group structures, how to reach the culture you're in, etc. Ministry philosophies do not include carpet color, music style, or programs.
• Matters of practicality. As a church changes, things can shift that make ministry difficult for families and individuals. Sometimes service times conflict with work, school or kids' schedules (this is not an excuse to stop going all-together, but rather find a different church that works). Other times we opt to attend a church that is closer due to logistical or financial concerns. These are all real and valid concerns that should be discussed with church leadership. This does not include issues such as the church is getting "too big" or "too small". You should know that significant shifts in church size are part of the deal (Acts 2:47). 

All legitimate reasons should fall under the umbrella of wanting to do more effective ministry in and for the local church. I'm sure there are many other illegitimate and legitimate reasons I've missed. This list does not take into consideration important biblical concepts like church replication, calling, and planting. These are so unique to the individual, they really should be discussed with church leadership in that specific context. My goal was not to provide an exhaustive list, but rather to give pause to posture and heart motives. Again, all reasons should be carefully evaluated through prayer, fasting, and a discussion with your church elders if possible. 

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